Silent Night......

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

Did you ever have the night when you utterly got nobody, and you don’t know what to do in that night or maybe the next day after you woke up, and you totally have no idea what will happen to you in the present and at the future? :')

Black Hat Thinking

I HATE STUDIES!!!

BECAUSE STUDIES SEPARETE US!!!!! >.<



IT SEPARATES OUR SOULS, DRIFTING US FAR APART...!!!!!



AND I HATE SEPARATION!!!

I HATE IT BOTH!!!!


....


....



sick of feeling this anymore..... :(
When will it ends...?

Its all begins with...

Don't quit when the tide is the lowest, for it is just about to turn; Don't quit over doubts and questions, for there is something you may learn; Don't quit when the night is the darkest, for it's just a while till dawn; Don't quit when you have run the furthest, for the race is almost won; Don't quit for you are not a failure, until you fail to try.

Msn, September 2009.

P.S. 'Goddess, please tell me more about your story...'

Hazy Mood..

Somehow I just felt so confuse and lost with my feelings...

I always miss holding hands, miss warm hugging, miss randomly calling up and text-ing with someone day and night, miss the feeling of being missed by someone no matter I'm well awake or deep asleep... From time to time, I really miss all those feeling so much it stuck back at me knowing that being single all these while wasn't that awesome after all...

It's like after so many things I've done to fit myself in the society, nothing much had changed where I stand... I miss those anniversary to remember, I miss those touchy feelings that I'd once felt before, I miss those secure feeling that I had always treasured...

Somehow, I couldn't really know how to definite the word Love anymore, neither between being a best friends or boy friend... I wasn't sure my heart was ready to let everything in the past be bygones neither she's ready to be committed in a relationship...

Apparently, I wasn't sure I'm ready to move on from the past memories either... I wanted to be fair to her, I wanted to be fair for both of us...

No one says being in pair is easy, no one gives the right guidelines for a perfect couple path... No one even says loving someone is gonna be easy too... Guess we'll just have to walk out things by our own huh?! When is the right time/moment for me to feel it again...??! Hmmm...


But one thing for sure,
I'd amazingly fell for her now... :D


Thanks God...


I feel much better already... ^^


P.S. The wait will be worth it! One day, I'll find someone I can laugh with all day, share my deepest secrets with, talk about everything and have the best time of my life. Until then, I won't settle for anything less.

Happy 22nd Birthday to you Karyn Ng Meimei!

Happy 22nd Birthday to you Karyn Ng Meimei a.k.a. granddaughter a.k.a. my ex-girlfriend!! *wink* :P

Sorry nothing much I can bring you this year, and sorry I'm unable to always bring you joy and happiness...

Wishing you all the great things in life, hope this day will bring you extra shares of all that make you happier!


Truely,
jason!

Disappointment

How does it feels like to miss call someone for seventeen times...? Or how does it feels like to have someone miss called you for seventeen times?




I'm truly sorry.... :(




P.S. If you love someone, tell him or her. Forget about the rules or the fear of looking ridiculous. What's truly ridiculous is passing up on an appotunity to tell someone that your heart is invested in him or her.

Simple as that...

I just want to hold your hand,

even if it gets sweaty,

and fetch you back from Sunday service.

Love, jason

just Plainly Envy

-你不知道的事-

蝴蝶眨几次眼睛 才学会飞行
夜空洒满了星星 但几颗会落地
我飞行 但你坠落之际
很靠近 还听见呼吸
对不起 我却没捉紧你

你不知道我为什么离开你
我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
你的泪滴像 倾盆大雨
碎了满地 在心里清晰

你不知道我为什么狠下心
盘旋在你看不见的高空里
多的是 你不知道的事


Because I don't have my own love now, I tended to feel envy to other's love story and the relationship they're into..

I'll easily get emotion to those disgusting love movies I watched. Specially when I watched them alone, my shamefully warm tears will just flow out from my eyes... Sometimes my heart just shuttered with the life I had now each time the movie ends...

However, at this particular point... I'd love this kind of feeling very much... It allows me to have those sour-sweet feeling back again, the feeling of love, the feeling that I once had before and now it'd long lost...

...

In the end of the day, I think I'm just plainly envy to those happy ending that I'm always chasing for..


That's all...

That must be the tear of joy I'd always dropped... That must be the tear of satisfaction that remarkably satisfied my soul...


Thanks to those disgusting but touching love movies that enhance me to be more human again. :)



P.S. Life is tough, but we're far more tougher then that!

(Happy 10.10.10 in my 10th post. ^^)

幸运草

艳阳天 花园 汗湿她的脸
纯真是我18岁那年挂念那女孩

亮晃晃 时间 拉着青春跑
跑过了午睡醒后操场的喧闹

她送我 四叶幸运草
她给我 万分之一的缘分
多奇妙 爱星星的微笑
在我掌心里 轻轻飘

幸运草的夏天有她陪着我迷路
喜欢当时小小幸福就是爱情的全部
那天一阵烈日 一阵大雨 一整个下午
她的汗水渗进土里为我绽放 新的礼物

她送我 四叶幸运草
她给我 万分之一的缘分
多奇妙 爱星星的微笑
在我掌心里 轻轻飘

幸运草的夏天有她陪着我迷路
喜欢当时小小幸福就是爱情的全部
那天一阵烈日 一阵大雨 一整个下午
她的汗水渗进土里为我绽放 新的礼物

一转眼成长了 散了
没结局的传说 她记不记得

幸运草里藏着的事早已经模糊
爱情就在每次泪干之后越来越清楚
直到书签破了 花园拆了 我也不再哭

才懂得了 有个女孩曾经为我全心付出


















It had been an important item for me ever since I hanged it on my bag and travelled it all around the world with me. It had been years now, the leaf was more like a witness to me, where it tells all the story of my life. And sometimes, bringing it along just plainly gives me a feeling of I wasn't totally and utterly alone when I was surrounded with strangers and new environment. When my soul is filled with emptiness, this little piece of 'security' amazingly makes me feel safe all the time by holding it tightly in my paw. In my heart, I know that, I was being blessed...

P.S. The key of a relationship is communication... We need to talk, but it's also important to know when to stop talking!
P.P.S. I enjoy seeing it growing in the dark. ^^

The Book of Tomorrow

Happy Birthday to you, Tarama Kilsaney. Thanks for sharing your story with me, I enjoyed reading every chapter of it. I learnt that maybe when we really understand everything that happened to us properly by time we’ll be able to truly forgive and learn to live on it. Live out our own tomorrow people, don’t afraid to make any mistake in life… Be brave like her. ^^

P.S. Thanks Karyn Ng for this amazing and wonderful story book. Best 22nd birthday present ever!

礼物

终於可以在今天划上句点
一整夜 翻阅过去画面
快想不起我们为何会诀别
只看到那双你送的鞋

走一步又一步
我才发现绕了个圈
走了好一年
又回到原点

你送的礼物 会不会太特别
毫不避讳 那不安的传言
但渐行渐远 习惯到没感觉
难道你早想要我走远

你送的礼物 在此刻好体贴
陪我回忆 把过往走一遍
穿了这一年 难免会有污点
就像每段爱 总会有终点

世上最残酷的 恐怕是时间
困住人 一切却还向前
乾涸的眼再挤不出一点咸
爱到如此可悲的境界

走一步又一步
却跟不到你的脚步
你满意了
为什麼我却只想要哭

你说做自己吧
我们都做回自己 哦~
不要再为爱受委屈

你送的礼物 原来是一场劫
终於分别 夙命一样准确
可笑到想要 你赔给我时间
爱情有时廉价得可怜

光著脚我一路奔跑 鲜血泪水一路狂飙
收起我的骄傲 承认曾经备受煎熬
鞋上那记号 只有你能明了
过了这一夜
我就全忘掉

已经一年了
我还是一样吗？

Alcoholic Beach Party ‘2’

Yes, this trip had been held again at Langkawi Island because the island is so near to my university, just 5 minutes car trip to the jetty and 40 minutes boat journey to the place that’s free of duty charge from the government. It was a spontaneous decision for us to go there because Thursday ain’t gonna have any class for us while we were free on the 1st week of the semester. On Wednesday, eleven participles from industrial electronic and system electronic courses gather at the jetty at 2pm, including two couples and one new member who just join in the group. Exactly same as the previous alcoholic beach party, we separate into two groups when we reached the island. The 1st group will be responsible to search for hotel at ‘Pantai Cenang’ and the 2nd group will be responsible to choose the best ‘drinks’ for everyone. Our motives were to drink as much as we could and get so drunk that day because we’d paid for it, 100 bucks each. And I really drink a lot that night, like I was lived to drink but I didn’t get drunk at the end of the night. We brought three different types of alcohol drinks; one of them was red wine. 3 members throw up after the drink compared with last time only 2 people. It was a total chaos after everybody got drunk. I can’t believe what just happened. Haiz… the story starts here, last semester there was a girl, my coursemate who falls for me because we were good friend in class. Ever since she confessed her love to me and we didn’t work out as a couple, there’s a gap between us. After that incident, I start to back off myself a little bit because I don’t want to hurt her or cause any pain to her anymore. I want everything to be fine between us and then we can be friends again. And yea, she’d recover after the semester break and she told me that she’d got over the feeling that she had for me and she’s ready to be friend with me again. But however that night really screw everything up. After she gets all drunk, and she expressed all her emotional in front of us. It was kind of ugly. She starts to get so upset, jealous and then cried out her heart loud. To be honest, I was totally helpless at that moment. I can’t do anything but to comfort her, keep asking her to clam down and stays focus on her emotions but it was no use. I tried my best to prevent her from doing or saying anything that will make her regret on next morning. On the trip, I can feel that she wasn’t feeling comfortable with the way another coursemate of us treating me. We were quite chatty and close to each other on the trip. Due to that reason I believe her emotional finally burst out uncontrollable. There was a part she stands so near to me when she got drunk. I felt so weird with the way she stared at me. Another friend of mine took over my place when I failed to control her emotions. Yes, of course I couldn’t control her emotions because I was the one who caused all this. And her friend knows that too. Damn it Jason, you’re really a jackass! Haiz… I just told myself not to involve in this relationship stuff now but I still did it again. It just won’t let me go. Like a predator keeps hunting my soul. That day before we start drinking, we went to the beach at the evening. Just like every tourists out there, we walk at the seaside… watch people playing banana boat, football, and all that, and we played the sea water too… everything went well and perfectly normal… we were having fun. But all the sudden, I got stung by a jellyfish. The pain was indescribable. It was like thousands of needles stung into my skin and it feel like my hand was plainly burned by fire. The ‘love’ shock from the jellyfish really kills my nerves. It causes my right hand to feel total numb, chest pain, back pain, stomach pain and having difficulty to breath. In fact, my whole body starts to feel pain like I had just punched by someone at the body. Freaking jellyfish! I can’t stop myself from cursing it the moment I got stung! Haha! I immediately rushed to the emergency room after I took my shower. Given the opportunities to skip the entire patients at the hospital (they were waiting their numbers to be called), Doc gives me the medication I needed. Few types of drugs had been injected into my body and I felt plain dizzy like my head was spinning at 20 revolutions per minutes. Doc said I was lucky to come in on time because my heart bit was slower than usual one. I don’t know what he meant by that. Isn’t my situation really that critical than I can imagine?! After an hour later, I check out myself from the hospital and continue my adventure with my friends. I still feel very suffer after the drugs and stings but everyone was waiting me for dinner and it was about 9.30pm by the time. Everyone was starving, so much! So I hide all my pain from them and rock the night though. Doc said I must drink more alcohol drinks because it can help me to neutralize all the poison in my body and make me feel a lot better, so I’d what doc said. :P Haha! (It was a prank okay!) I wasn’t hungry that night. I lost all my appetite due to that ‘jellyfish crash’.





















If you ever ask me whether I’d deserve all this, I’ll tell you I do. I’d deserve every sting from that unknown jellyfish. (I didn’t get to know its name and phone number when we met) Maybe this jellyfish stung me for right. Maybe because God knows all these chaos is going to happen tonight so he punished me in advance for being such a jackass to make a girl cried. Thanks jellyfish, thanks god, I’m sorry; I know I had done lots of bad things nowadays… On the next morning, I woke up early like the last trip I do. I was planning to go for a walk at the beach (alone) but despite of that, I did something good to others. Another coursemate of mine, love issue again, who was so upset sitting on the floor crying when I walk pass through her. So I sincerely ask her to go for a walk with me and I gave her some break-up-motivation talk. Hope she’ll feel normal soon. After the trip, my body felt so weak. I’m now constantly taking my medicines and I hope I’ll fully recover in no time. Afraid of any side effects that the jellyfish might give me. Haiz… when I was at my life and dead moment, I didn’t call to anyone that was close to me including my family. I clearly know that neither of them can help me that moment so I save up some calls to prevent any unnecessary worries. Despite of that, I texted with my imaginary friend… Mei Mei… I updated her with all the situations I’m in and everything while she shows her concern by replying my message. She helps me to get through all this. She helps me to feel safe and secure. I didn’t feel like I’m facing the problem all by myself because I really trusted her. She's a future doc. Haha! Thanks mei… If I really die that night you’ll be the last person I contacted. I actually chat with the doc about you when he gives me medication ler... Haha! Thanks god I’m still able to make jokes here. Thanks god for sparing my little life. Now I’m backed to hostel and its time for me to show some concern on my studies. Hope I’ll be writing about the improvement in my studies next time I’d blog. I’ll write again…

P.S. Aim for the moon, aim high.

New Semester starts

The small kid, not to mention handsome, had backed to university’s life again like every time he does. He feels so sad, he feels so lost, and he feels so stressful that he needs to leave all his best friends, his ‘little worm’ in his tummy, his family and his hometown and everything behind to further his studies! That’s a process he needs to face each time a new semester starts- Separation. But on the top of that, he can’t believe that he is already a 3rd year student in his university now… A senior! ^^ Well, for me what’s different between a senior and a junior is that senior has lots of university friends to cope up with after going back. Have a warm delicious dinner in a small town of Kangar and few hours of chit-chat just with good friends, lots of laughter and catching up to do after few months of holiday. While on the other hand, a junior doesn’t have much friends in a new environment, probably he/she just know their roommate for the first few days, has to attend some boring lame university orientations for a week, and has to have dinner at ‘warung’ (Malay store) near to their respective hostel that probably disgust their tongue and stomach and make their university’s life even more like hell. Moreover, most senior have their own transportation, doesn’t matter it has only two wheels or four wheels or anything, but it makes everything convenience here. That’s the beauty of being an old man than a freshman in a university because we all need to get used to the places, know where to eat and where to get things that we need, and most importantly, have connections to keep us warm, alive, secure and safe for at least four long years. Due to that, it feels sweet to be back again and my 1st day wasn’t that bad as I imagined after all. :P thanks god! It has been great to spend a week with my ‘nui sen’ (‘Goddess’) on the last week of holiday. We do spend lots of quality time together and we were definitely much closer with each other than before. We went for two trips this time. 1st trip we took various kinds of public transports to K.L., it took us all day wondering in the city, and it was seriously exhausted because we walked a lot that day, and the 2nd trip we went to National Zoo with my old pals. Indeed, we saw lots of animals in the zoo, and my favourite animal was the girafa. More jokes than awkwardness, more conversation than quietness and more understanding between us than mysteriousness, and I’m glad of it. But unfortunately, I think everything needs to be stop (or at least slow down) and back to square one again because I don’t want to build any weird feelings towards her in future. I cherish the friendship we had now and I don’t think we need to make any unnecessary changes between us. We’re cool with what we were now. Moreover, if she’s really ‘the one’ for me, then suppose I’m the ‘god’ now…! I’ll never be the ‘God’! Never… Just bear that in mind Jason. Haha! I had been unloading my stuffs and done lots of lots of house chores today and yesterday. Besides that, I also prepare myself to get ready for the new-happening-semester mentally and physically. For the time being, I’ll freeze all my thoughts, emotions and feelings toward relationship stuff. I still remember once Karyn told me its best to stay single in your study life. So I’ll be an unbeatable cool terminator now! Haha! Lots of new semester revolutions to fulfill, MISSON MUST BE COMPLETED. . . (Robot move) :P oh well, hope I’ll have a marvelous semester this time, I had lots of best wishes from my old pals and I certainly don’t want to disappoint them and myself. Hmm… so much for now, cheer!

P.S. Life still move on… don’t look back to the past that will hurt you.
P.P.S. Starting from today I’ll try my best not to blog so much, unless it’s necessary! ^^

Meilleurs Amis

I can only feel myself living in this world by blog now. It’s like a letter to prove that I’m still exists, still breathing, and still alive to contribute some pollution to this world. I’m struggling in my life each and everyday, trying to live up here. Felt very stressful these few days. I can feel it by the lack of beauty sleep and some weird dream I had these days. Can’t fall asleep when I’m going to bed because somehow my brain was too excited, my heart bits like a running horse, and until I didn’t notice it, it takes after few hours for me to deeply fall in sleep. But my sleep never last longer, even though I slept at the midnight I still woke up in the early morning at around 5 o’clock. Not even when I was too exhausted with so many activities and my eyes were like too tired to open it, I still can’t wonder into my Lala-land (smirk). Maybe because the weather was too warm for me to sleep, or maybe because, because I’m old and having these old people symptoms right now. Like my dad does now, he always wakes up at six o’clock in any days (including Sunday) without an alarm clock. Haha! (Not funny Jason!) Maybe because my day to a new semester is coming soon, that’s why I am so suffer now. Damn it! Yea, I had my plan this time, and I’m going to stick to it till the end of semester. Hmm… I’m quite enjoying this sweet moment of I’m-all-alone time now! My mind felt so peaceful and calm with the music running into my brain with the right frequency. Anyway, it had been a sport days for me this week because I had done various type of sports with my friends and it feels so insane. I went swimming with my old pals on Wednesday; unlike any other swimming day we had every week, this was the last time we had in this semester break. Everyone was kind of gloomy due to that reason because we really had lots of joyful moment at the pool. And I can feel it from everyone’s conversation and some awkward feeling I had when the music of ‘kiss the rain’ played in the car. It has been so great to be able to find some friends to go swimming with me again. It means a lot to me and I always look forward to each swimming time we had. I like swimming a lot. People who know me well knew that. Swimming makes me feel like a fish. A carefree fish which can swim in the water with no problems bugging in his mind and his little wonderful world. It’s another alternative way for me to drag myself out of this world of chaos besides than playing guitar. And also a great sport too because it’s the only sport that u doesn’t sweat for it! But I’m glad li ling mastered the art of swimming before she goes back to her University. She really amazes me with just a month I taught her on how to swim. According to her, snorkeling at Redang Island last time really helps her. Well I don’t know about that, but I do know I’m getting better in giving free swimming class to people now. Haha! Nevertheless, I played badminton and ping pong with my old pals too. Then we go jogging, oh ya… I brought a new basketball for myself not long ago, so besides jogging we play basketball at Setia Alam Park too. On the other hand, I also spend my week playing bowling with my bros; they just love bowling so much! But they also crazy in watching movie like I do. That’s why I often go to the cinema with them. Well, indirectly they’re my new ‘couple’ for movies now. Haha! (its sound so wrong!) Sometimes we go ‘yamcha’(coffee) even though we just hang out few days ago and were out of topic with each other. But because we’re in the same shoe for some reason, we still go out at night; watching football matches to pass our boring time together-World cup is hot for everybody now what! Sometimes I just felt like I had the coolest friends with me, they make me feel so proud of them once a while! Maybe they’re not the best people in the world and they might get pretty annoying at time, but they’re the one who constantly makes me feel happy when I'm moody, be there for me when I’m alone, share their jokes with me when I’m bored, and most importantly keep me in one piece when my entire world falls apart and everything. How simple was that but yet those are the very important things that make them so awesome to me; Some group of people that I belong with/in. I don’t need any complicated things in my life and they are exactly the kind of friendship I cherish. After 5 to 10 years, who knows where will us end up with/in. Maybe some of us probably in a relationship by the time, some of us migrated to other country for certain reason, some of us settled in a marriage and have kids and some other possibilities that we never figure out in life happens changed the friendship. Life is full of surprises! And I believe everything has its own 'expired date'. To be total selfish to myself, I hope time will slow down for us now so that we are able to enjoy every moment we spend together as a group of best friend. Let every minute we spend is full with enjoyment and laughter. And may the tears we ever drop for each other be the tear of joy not sadness. Most of the time when I go out with friends, I enjoy watching lovely couples around me. They always attract my attention because the way they treat each other was so sweet and caring it makes my heart melt, either when I’m at the shopping malls, in cinema, outdoor or indoor. Secretly I will stalk at them and bless them with best wishes. That’s how I do. Do you know why?! Because they're not just some old sweet disgusting couple, but they're also their best friend to each other. So cherish your partner when you still have one with u! (take note future Jason) :)

P.S. just hold on to that moment, the answers would come and the clouds would clear and the complicated would become simply and the bizarre would become ordinary.

‘Baggages’

Does u believe in everyone has these ‘baggage’ carried with them everyday in life..? Think deeply... Sure do, its part of the life and everyone has it! At least ONE baggage, you just need to look pass it. There’s in-love-with-Ex baggage, being-to-nice baggage, left-by-the-alter baggage, family-issue baggage, always-too-awesome-keep-on-rejecting-people baggage and betrayed-by-friends-cant-trust-everyone baggage and so much more that you can name it all day. So, what’s my baggage? I think, only god can answer it for me; maybe that’s one of the criteria a soul mate should have, to be able to give you a hand with those heavy and tough stuffs you had gone through in your pervious life. Willing to accept who you are and what you did before bumping into them. Yea, it’s not an easy task or mission for anyone to do this. But it’s not an impossible one if you really are ‘the one’ for that person. Like anything else, it’s our responsibility to make our soul mate feel better by lighten their burden. Not to say minimize the pain but to reduce or cover it with loves and cares. It’s nice and sweet to do for the person you love. Today is father’s day; like any other day, I don’t purposely treat my dad ‘specially’ nice. Because for me, you should cherish and treat your dad good everyday. (At least try to! :D) Father is like a very important person who brings back food to home. Every family member is counting on him. Without him, they’ll die in hunger. Like those old-age people, men always go hunting for the family. Tonight I was at home waiting my dad to ‘da pao’ (deliver) dinner for me despite of that this feeling suddenly came to me so naturally. Haha! Maybe I was too hungry that time because I just ate some delicious tosei and eggs for lunch, and that was like 8 long hours ago. My dad, sometimes he really talks too much in the house. Like the older he gets, the more nagger he becomes. And my mom is like those very impatient women at times that you can’t mess with her. Then you get the picture, it will cause a massive argument when two people couldn’t tolerant with each other. Nowadays I notice there’s a problem in my family. My parents, besides working on weekdays, they don’t have any other things to do during their weekends. They’re just depend their free time on those dramas that I got from my friends and sent it to pen drive and watch it through TV using some high definition media player, and that’s not pretty at all. You see, when they’re not watching drama, they’ll bug me, so much, like asking me who I’m chatting with in the computer room, or who am I sms-ing with and all that! Or they’ll go online chatting with my brother when they had enough of me, then nothing else they can do already. Seriously, I want my parents to have their real own life back! Enjoy other things besides then just watching dramas or treating me like a small kid. Yes, I do like to have their concerns but I still need some space for my own… Deep down my heart, I feel so bad and wrong watching my parent live with not enjoyments. Like they have just lived their life under the shadow of their sons. That’s the reason I brought Romeo into our life, into our family because I was too afraid that will happen. And it’s actually happening now! I know maybe I was being over-reacted or sophisticate over this issue but I just don’t know. Anyway, Happy Father’s Day to my dad! And to those people who grow up in single mother or had lost their father, do wish your mother happy father’s day too because they do play the fatherhood part in your life too!... Cheer Jason!

P.S. Not everything went great as we planed. But life has plenty of good parts, is the rough part that makes us thankful we have people to share with.

One liter of Tears

How much time does a person needs to fill in a bottle with a liter of tears?! That’s not a question actually. Its courage, love, patient and determination for a person to achieve what they want in their life. True enough, life still got lots of things to do besides than relationship, so don’t waste it Jason! There will be lot of distraction in the process, just like a football match, when you’re in the striker position, lots of defenders will stop you from shooting in the goal therefore you need to be more than just prepared for whatever things that’s came against you. There might not be any fair and square game exactly like what's in a real life. It’s very hard sometimes but that’s what makes us so different and unique from anyone. Most normal human being will feel lost, stress out, or even feel like giving up on their dream at time. Doesn’t matter in your studies, careers, relationships or all stuff like that. All those feeling will keep on hammering you with no sympathy and you just wish all that will ends as fast as possible or the fastest the better. But I always believe in there’ll be a better tomorrow. And bear with all the hard time I had with minimum complains and groans because when you’re not talking, you’re thinking! (Its takes a lot not to say so much actually) So yeah, nobody likes those negative feelings. Nobody likes to be hurt by others! Today I went shopping alone. Long time I didn’t do such thing already it feels kind of nice and fresh for doing it again. I had brought a watch that cost around 450 bucks (after discount) for my dad. It takes me hardship to buy this watch I hope he will love it when I present it to him on the father’s day. Besides that, I also brought a set of tie and cufflink for my old pal who’s going to turn 21 years old this coming Saturday. Hope he will like the present too. Oh, I also brought myself a new grey colour tie. Haha! Cannot be not buying myself something when everybody got their own gift rite?! :P Met a junior from high school while looking for my dad’s present. Surprisingly that sales girl at the City Chain Shop still recognizes me by mentioning I was the former president for student council club. (Honestly, I had totally forgotten who she was) Then we started to chat while i ask her stuffs about the watch. It feels great when someone still can remember you after so many years.























P.S. I feel better now. I found time can heal most everthing.

Kiss the rain

My life used to be a perfect one. I have my girl friend with me, I have great friends, and my studies were always in high achievement. I enjoy playing all sorts of sports like swimming, badminton and all that. When I was down or feeling bored, I’ll lead my guitar to play me comfortable music to relax my mind and drag me out from reality and help me stop thinking for a few minutes of my life. I like taekwondo because I had started learning it since I was in primary four but that’s an old time story of mine already. Yea, I’m a black belt and I enjoy sparing. Blah blah blah.. And I do like to read story books when it comes to my leisure time. I mostly enjoy Cecelia’s type of literary. I have lot of her collections. :P Sound like I’m a very noble person huh! Haha! Oh, 4gotten to introduce my family members here. I have a lovely warm family. My only brother who was just two years younger than me undertaking mass communication in ECU University in Aus, my parents whom always support my current life give my everything I need, and never negelect Romeo the house dog. (There will be lot of story of him because he’s so dearly to me and also to my family) However, at the age of 21 years old, things had been quite different now. I shall start my story a year ago with me ‘grieving’ over my break up with my 1st love. Indeed, hard time for me. I don’t even know how to spend my semester break that time so I went to work as a waiter at Neway Company. Then I met a sweet girl in my university, named Angeline*. She was a fine girl with excellant language, loves to read story books, share every story of her life with me, In other words, we were quite open with each other. I can still remember the last time I brought her souvenir (my favourite chocolate) when I got back from a vacation in Langkawi Island; and she gave me some expensive body shampoo that she dun wants and ‘ba kua’ that her senior gave her. I really smell like a green apple each time I use the body shampoo. At first I hate that smell so much but I was kind of getting over with it at the end of the day. We share all the songs and movies that we like. We text each other day and night doesnt matter anyone of us were asleep or not. Having someone to bug at anytime is the nicest and sweetest things a person can get in their life especially with those who just broke up in a relationship. I cherish every moment we had although we never actually meet and look into each other eyes before. But then the friendship didn’t last for long, we have language and religion problems according to what I feel. Although I don’t mind all of that stuff but not her. I had two major arguments with her and the 2nd one was few days ago. I don't think we’ll back together this time. Then there’s her best friend Inessa* who I’m close with too when I put an end with Angeline*. She told me that Inessa* was kind of into me now so I might as well give her the attention she wants, or give it a try maybe she’ll be the soul mate I’m always looking for. Things went well for d 1st week, she share everything with me, and vice versa. We spend our quality time together but till today, she changed her attitude towards me after I sent her one of my picture that I posting handsomely at Broga Hill with some flirty text message in it. She asked me not to keep in touch with her FOREVER because I’m very annoying to her. After listened to all the explanation from me, she just chose a few correct responds from her little words file to reply me. I don’t think I had done anything wrong here. Now I have been deeply hurt my two girls whom are best friend. I had learnt my valuable lessons in life now. I quit my holiday’s job working as a promoter at AEON selling kid’s clothes (KIKO) today due to a serious argument I had with the head of the guard. There’s no reason I state the whole story down here but I don’t know why I’m so brave to stand up for myself that time. And I don’t understand why I even start this damn stupid fucking boring promoter job. Honestly, I know the reason. I start the job when I broke up with Angeline*, I thought I can use this opportunity to reduce the pain in my heart. I quit the job because I hate it so much and that time I just broke with Inessa* so I grab this opportunity to pick a fight with the guard and stop working too. Lame excuse isn’t it but that’s wholly true. Now I’m officially unhooked from both of them. I guess that’s the best ending for everyone of us. I don’t belong to either one of them. (Hope this time I’m not wrong) I think it’s the best time for me to back to myself now. My studies has been dropping tremendously, I’m suck in dealing with friendship, I’m a quitter at work, I’m lack of confident and trust in myself and I'm still not sure anymore worst thing is coming to me to make my life more miserable or not. Right now, I’m at d lowest point of my life. Everything doesn’t go smoothly for me. And I start to wonder am I going to live my life like this now and forever?! So, you had known me and what my current life is like. Most people will start their blog with great introduction, with positive thinking, and all stuff like that but not me. I think I’m going to screw my 1st blog for once. Maybe one day when I looked back, I know I've been in this kind of moment in my life before. Remind me that I’m not always that perfect and awesome all the time. Haha! It’s for you XXX, I shall start cherish every moment of my life by writing it down here, I’ll do my best to kept my promise. Not break it until the end of my life.

P.S. it takes long time2 build up trust, but it can be crush overnight; plunge back to reality Jason!