Black Hat Thinking

I HATE STUDIES!!!

BECAUSE STUDIES SEPARETE US!!!!! >.<



IT SEPARATES OUR SOULS, DRIFTING US FAR APART...!!!!!



AND I HATE SEPARATION!!!

I HATE IT BOTH!!!!


....


....



sick of feeling this anymore..... :(
When will it ends...?

Its all begins with...

Don't quit when the tide is the lowest, for it is just about to turn; Don't quit over doubts and questions, for there is something you may learn; Don't quit when the night is the darkest, for it's just a while till dawn; Don't quit when you have run the furthest, for the race is almost won; Don't quit for you are not a failure, until you fail to try.

Msn, September 2009.

P.S. 'Goddess, please tell me more about your story...'

Hazy Mood..

Somehow I just felt so confuse and lost with my feelings...

I always miss holding hands, miss warm hugging, miss randomly calling up and text-ing with someone day and night, miss the feeling of being missed by someone no matter I'm well awake or deep asleep... From time to time, I really miss all those feeling so much it stuck back at me knowing that being single all these while wasn't that awesome after all...

It's like after so many things I've done to fit myself in the society, nothing much had changed where I stand... I miss those anniversary to remember, I miss those touchy feelings that I'd once felt before, I miss those secure feeling that I had always treasured...

Somehow, I couldn't really know how to definite the word Love anymore, neither between being a best friends or boy friend... I wasn't sure my heart was ready to let everything in the past be bygones neither she's ready to be committed in a relationship...

Apparently, I wasn't sure I'm ready to move on from the past memories either... I wanted to be fair to her, I wanted to be fair for both of us...

No one says being in pair is easy, no one gives the right guidelines for a perfect couple path... No one even says loving someone is gonna be easy too... Guess we'll just have to walk out things by our own huh?! When is the right time/moment for me to feel it again...??! Hmmm...


But one thing for sure,
I'd amazingly fell for her now... :D


Thanks God...


I feel much better already... ^^


P.S. The wait will be worth it! One day, I'll find someone I can laugh with all day, share my deepest secrets with, talk about everything and have the best time of my life. Until then, I won't settle for anything less.

Happy 22nd Birthday to you Karyn Ng Meimei!

Happy 22nd Birthday to you Karyn Ng Meimei a.k.a. granddaughter a.k.a. my ex-girlfriend!! *wink* :P

Sorry nothing much I can bring you this year, and sorry I'm unable to always bring you joy and happiness...

Wishing you all the great things in life, hope this day will bring you extra shares of all that make you happier!


Truely,
jason!

Disappointment

How does it feels like to miss call someone for seventeen times...? Or how does it feels like to have someone miss called you for seventeen times?




I'm truly sorry.... :(




P.S. If you love someone, tell him or her. Forget about the rules or the fear of looking ridiculous. What's truly ridiculous is passing up on an appotunity to tell someone that your heart is invested in him or her.

Simple as that...

I just want to hold your hand,

even if it gets sweaty,

and fetch you back from Sunday service.

Love, jason

just Plainly Envy

-你不知道的事-

蝴蝶眨几次眼睛 才学会飞行
夜空洒满了星星 但几颗会落地
我飞行 但你坠落之际
很靠近 还听见呼吸
对不起 我却没捉紧你

你不知道我为什么离开你
我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
你的泪滴像 倾盆大雨
碎了满地 在心里清晰

你不知道我为什么狠下心
盘旋在你看不见的高空里
多的是 你不知道的事


Because I don't have my own love now, I tended to feel envy to other's love story and the relationship they're into..

I'll easily get emotion to those disgusting love movies I watched. Specially when I watched them alone, my shamefully warm tears will just flow out from my eyes... Sometimes my heart just shuttered with the life I had now each time the movie ends...

However, at this particular point... I'd love this kind of feeling very much... It allows me to have those sour-sweet feeling back again, the feeling of love, the feeling that I once had before and now it'd long lost...

...

In the end of the day, I think I'm just plainly envy to those happy ending that I'm always chasing for..


That's all...

That must be the tear of joy I'd always dropped... That must be the tear of satisfaction that remarkably satisfied my soul...


Thanks to those disgusting but touching love movies that enhance me to be more human again. :)



P.S. Life is tough, but we're far more tougher then that!

(Happy 10.10.10 in my 10th post. ^^)